Coach You

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coach you

coach you


FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real



Fear is no longer the Sabre Toothed Tiger at the entrance to your cave.  First world fears show up in the brown envelopes from HMRC that drop on the mat.  Fear fires your adrenaline when someone steps on your Values (those heartfelt beliefs that take you to fulfilment). Fear creeps in when a text or email arrives whose tone you question.


We are all animals and that trigger of fear sets off an automatic chain of chemical reactions in our body and brain.  You know the response – heart palpitations, sweaty palms, shallow breathing, foggy head.  This is our fight, flight or freeze mechanism.  All this agony from a single thought! 


It is not real …


Even if HMRC haven’t got it wrong, the information gives you the power to make decisions.  Those are YOUR values – the perpetrator is clueless and most often not deliberate in dishonouring YOUR heartfelt beliefs. That text or email reflects how THEY are feeling and most often NOT what they are feeling about you!


So if physical reactions come from a single thought then why can’t thoughts come from a physical reaction?  They can: Before you DO anything ie bury the letter under a pile, bite back or fire back a sharp text or email, just BE.


When this happens to you NOTICE what is happening to your body and choose to change the feelings.  Just by noticing the physical symptoms and naming them – “Oh, here I go … that ol’ FEAR again” the body releases a chemical to calm down the symptoms of that adrenaline rush.  You will quickly begin to feel better.


Choose to relax, do a body check and consciously relax your body.  Your mind will respond and similarly calm down and move you beyond an emotional response. Once you feel calm and this can sometimes take a while, so distraction might be the answer until you can get some perspective.  You’ll know you’re in that place when you can answer:


“What’s the learning here?”