COACH YOU BLOG

A Change of Perspective
28/6/2011

As I march through the fen in the still and misty morning my head begins to clear. The grass feels wet and cold against my ankles and the intrusive A10 already a distant rumble in these early hours. Running through my “To Do” list, my monkey brain is quietened by the rhythmic swish-swish of my pace. The path, like a verdant tunnel is lined with cow parsley and overhanging hawthorn, opening into the endless, flat fields. A lark’s song fills the air.

It always brings me back to Shakespeare’s Sonnet 29 (see below) which I was forced to learn at college in the States (rote learning was unfashionable in England which felt very progressive but now seems rather sad). Shakespeare so brilliantly sums up how changing our perspective can be so fast and so uplifting.

We all feel negative at times … raging against the world; wishing we were someone else, able to do what they do, have all the friends they have, blaming everything including ourselves for our current condition. Shakespeare shows us how quickly a perspective can change. In the blink of an eye, he thinks of the person he loves – his heart soars and he wouldn’t change places with anyone.

OK, so thinking about my other half does not always emote such lofty feelings, (we’ve been together for years and years) … but I can achieve a similar shift of perspective by just thinking of the things for which I am most grateful.

No really, I know it sounds all Pollyanna but try it … it works. I make a note of three things I am most grateful for in life, if not in the moment, in my journal. For example:

“I am grateful for my lovely home”, this saves hours of my time pouring over the property pages and helps me embrace housework (well, do it, at least!). I am not constantly looking for better and so have removed quite a bit of self-imposed stress and spend my time more productively.

Gratitude shows up how important certain people are in my life, which can be quite surprising – even my postman gets a mention! I started to look for the positive in my nearest and dearest so I had something to journal! My attitude began to change from expectation to appreciation. They began to notice the difference and I feel sure my relationships have strengthened as a result.

Other times I try and be grateful for aspects of me –body, mind or character traits which help support me in life (for example Thunder Thighs become strong and healthy legs to move around on – yeah, I know it’s a bit of a stretch and my gremlins have a field day, but it makes me laugh – and that in itself is an instant shift in perspective). It’s also incredibly grounding – not taking for granted who and what I have in my life right now, not regretting the past or wishing for the future – living in the moment. When my mind is in a spin, juggling work, social and family life, thinking of my gratitude statements changes my perspective in a second.

When I begin to notice a pattern forming of what or who I am grateful for, it can be a clue as to where to spend more of my time. Obvious when it’s a person, but when it’s a character trait? I spend time developing that character trait – reading, taking a course, noticing how and when I use it most successfully. For example: talking … “verbal diarrhoea” my Dad calls it, but through Toastmasters and lots of practice, public speaking has become a rewarding addition to my career.

By bringing our attention to our strengths, by strengthening our relationships and by grounding us in the present, gratitude gives us a powerful platform from which to pursue our goals. Once we are aware of the things for which we are most grateful, we can make sure our goals support them and have them support our goals … a win: win situation.

William Shakespeare – Sonnet #29

When, in disgrace with Fortune and men’s eyes,

I all alone beweep my outcast state,

And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,

And look upon myself and curse my fate,

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,

Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,

Desiring this man’s art, and that man’s scope,

With what I most enjoy contented least,

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,

Haply I think on thee, and then my state,

Like to the lark at break of day arising