COACH YOU BLOG

Decisions, decisions …
29/6/2012

From the head or the heart … body and soul

 

The permission to make the decisions is something we long for as children … “when I grow up I’ll decide when I go to bed/get home/watch telly”.

 

Then, here we are, adult, making all the decisions … it is wonderful to be “at choice”: exciting, powerful and inspiring. And at other times decisions can be overwhelming, exhausting and stomach churning. So when it comes to really BIG decisions here are some strategies which might help.

 

There are those logical, intellectual methods from your head – such as to write a list of the pros and cons. Right, now go through the list and scribble out all the one’s that begin with “I can’t/ should /not good enough …” – you know the old gremlins or self-limiting beliefs that stop us being all we can be. Good …

 

Now write a list of how the decision (one way and the other) impacts on your wheel of life (you know … family and friends, career, money, environment, significant other, fun and recreation, health, personal growth.) Does the decision have your wheel grow bigger or just make it a bumpier ride? Or is the short-term bumpiness important for long-term expansion of your wheel? These methods are great for establishing quantifiable measurements – even if they are scores out of ten plucked from the air.

 

Decisions from the heart come from your values … no, not your morals … Values are those aspects of your life which bring fulfilment . Things that if not honoured have you feeling flat or make you feel positively miserable or enraged. For example I have a client with a core value of creativity – she is an artist. It didn’t take many sessions for her to realise why supermarket shelf-stacking really ticked her off – so she packed it in and has been going from strength to strength ever since.

 

Values are the blueprint for your fulfilment: a tool for decision making. Another client, an entrepreneur, was about to buy a particular company. When we examined how this decision would support his values he discovered that his top value was being honoured handsomely. However, the others were either ignored or trampled. The client decided against the purchase without a moment’s hesitation or regret.

 

Decisions from the body … if you can, then try and experience the outcome of the decision you are trying to make. So, if your decision is about starting a family then borrow someone’s two year old for an afternoon (they’re not babies long). If it is a job change then ask if you could have a trial afternoon to see if you fit in. If you can’t actually experience it then do your best to imagine what life will be like. Your imagination is your most powerful tool: pretend you’ve made the decision and live with it for a week – noticing what you feel at the time and the prevailing mood? You could also try imagining the decision being taken away by circumstances outside your control. How does that feel?

 

Finally, does this decision fit in with who you are as a person right now? Or is this decision going to take you towards who you want to be?